It Takes a Little Time

I had a bad day last week. “Bad” is relative, of course. Someone else, somewhere, experienced a much worse set of circumstances. But, personally speaking, one day last week could have been better.

That day, the girls and I headed over to the Y for open swim. Swimming is such a fun, lifelong sport. Swimming with kids—that’s a whole other playing field, friends.

First, there’s the getting ready. Finding everyone’s swim suits, getting them on. Locating the heavy-duty canvas bag. Filling it with (clean, if possible) towels, sippy cups and snacks. Then outfitting yourself, which is usually a production.

“Mom, I like your blue bathing suit better.”

“Boo! Boo!”

“Girls, would you give me some privacy, please?”

“Mom, what a round belly you have.”

“Belly! Belly! Belly!”

“Girls…please give me some privacy.”

“Here, I’ll close the door.” Slam.

“Can you go outside the door, girls?”

“We love being with you, Mom.”

“MOMMY! Hold meeeee!”

So…there’s the getting ready.

On that day, we eventually arrived at the Y. The friendly staff checked us in. The girls and I slipped off our cover-ups. I secured a life jacket around Anna. Grace adjusted her goggles. We got into the pool.

Three minutes later… “Thunder! Everybody out!”

I looked at the lifeguard. “Really?” She nodded: Really.

“Why?” Grace wondered.

“Nooooo!” Anna protested. Roll of thunder, hear my cry.

“The pool needs to close,” I said. “I promise we’ll find another fun thing to do.”

“Really?” Grace asked, with the same disbelief I had just demonstrated to the lifeguard.

“NOOOOO!”

After leaving the Y, I began driving back home when another car, with a seemingly impatient driver, nearly made contact with us. The lady continued driving unsafely behind us for several miles. “Unbelievable,” I said.

It could have been a better day.

Glass Marbles 8-6-17

Luckily, the next day was. The weather was beautiful. Grace, Anna and I didn’t run into any unpleasant drivers on the roadways. We spent the entire afternoon swimming and splash-padding at the town pool complex.

After having a “bad” day, it was refreshing to have a good one.

I remember our first summer with Anna. She was about 3 months old; Grace was turning 4. Everyday life then was so much harder than it is now, this summer. I worried about having Anna outside in the heat, so instead of the pool, I took Grace to an indoor “jumpy place.”

She loved it, not minding the earsplitting noise of the machines that kept the inflatable castles, pirate ships and slides afloat. That white noise also lulled Anna to sleep against my chest. For me, though…my head throbbed, nonstop.

It takes a little time, sometimes, for family life to find its rhythm—for things to fall into place. I don’t know if anyone ever reaches the point where they say, “This is it!” and hang up an “Arrived” sign. Because often, there’s always something. Something to work through, or toward. Until things feel manageable, even good.

It just takes a little time, sometimes.

There’s a ‘90s song called just that, “Takes a Little Time,” by Amy Grant. I love this song; the girls and I often listen to it. (It’s on our morning playlist alongside Eric Church’s “Springsteen” and “Collide” by Howie Day.)

We’ve listened to it enough (and danced around the kitchen in our PJs to it enough) that we can harmonize pretty well on the chorus: “It takes a little time sometimes / But baby, you’re not going down / It takes more than you’ve got right now / Give it, give it time.”

Welcoming a newborn. Becoming a family. Earning a living. Building a life. Moving into a new house, making it a home.

At some point, maybe taking care of the person who once cared for you.

We fall into our roles, sometimes. Fall into our lives. Things don’t always make sense in the moment, right off the bat. We stumble; we struggle. We hold out hope for a rhythm.

You might know that my favorite book is “A River Runs Through It” by Norman Maclean. Mr. Maclean speaks to this rhythm of life in his book, especially when he writes, “To [my father], all good things, trout as well as eternal salvation, come by grace. And grace comes by art. And art does not come easy.”

It does not come easy, friends. It does not.

There’s an art to becoming a patient parent. An art to becoming a safe driver. An art to living life with grace—to choosing gratitude.

My Grace will be 6 this week. I remember the day she was born. I remember holding her, in awe of her. And I remember thinking, “I don’t know what to do.” What do I do?

I still think that sometimes. Maybe you do too. What do I do?

(Something else I think: Where did that time go? How did all that time get away from me…just like that?)

The truth is, each day is a leap of faith. You get up—you show up—you hope for the best, and you do your best. You work toward a rhythm.

Finding that rhythm may take a little time. So give yourself that time. And don’t give up.

Wishing you the best, friends.

Photo credit: Pixabay

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Like what you just read? Then check out Melissa Leddy’s newest short fiction e-book, “This Is Just a Story.” Fun, timely and thought-provoking.

Sometimes, Our To-Do Lists Can Wait

A few days ago, I told my husband, “I really need to write on Saturday.” I’d been working on a magazine article, and had to finish it and submit it by the approaching deadline. Stanton completely understood and encouraged me to take whatever time I needed. He would take care of the girls, which is what I do during the week when he’s working.

Saturday came. In the early afternoon, Anna was napping. I got my car keys. Stanton and Grace were reading on the couch, the sunlight streaming in from the window behind them. In that moment, I realized I hadn’t talked with Grace lately.

Yes, I always ask her how school is. I give in to her request for a cup of Scrabble Junior Cheez-Its as I’m on the phone with her dentist’s office. I plead with her to play quietly in her room while I rock Anna to sleep in hers.

But we hadn’t really talked lately.

So, car keys in hand, I said, “Grace, why don’t you come with me?”

Grace perked up. “But you have to write a story.”

“I can always do it later tonight. But now, would you like to come to the coffee shop with me?”

“Just me and you?”

I smiled. “Yes.”

Grace grinned.

to-do-lists-image

A bit later at the coffee shop, Grace and I sat across from each other at a table for two. Grace was eating a cookie. I had a cup of coffee and a muffin. We chatted about her classmate’s upcoming birthday party and which present he might like, and her ice skating lesson the next day. I remembered something I wanted to include in my article, and scribbled the idea down in the notebook I always carry in my bag.

This notebook of mine has scribbles galore—countless stories waiting to be told, someday.

“Mom, I know a great story you can write,” Grace said.

I put my pen down. “What is it, honey?”

Grace finished chewing. “Me and Grace went to Perfect Blend together…and that was a very special day,” she said. “The end.”

I felt a lump in my throat.

“Do you like my story, Mom?”

“I love you, Grace,” I replied instead.

We have so many things we have to do every day. Some are nonnegotiable. But sometimes, our to-do lists can wait.

I meant to write a magazine article that Saturday afternoon. I had a date with my daughter instead.

As it turns out, we wrote a meaningful story together anyway.

“‘Me and Grace went to Perfect Blend together…and that was a very special day…The end.'”

Photo credit: Pixabay

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Like what you just read? Then check out Melissa Leddy’s newest short fiction e-book, “This Is Just a Story.” Fun, timely and thought-provoking.

Enough Is a Feast

How many loads of laundry does the average mom of small children do every week?

I wondered this as I schlepped yet another armful of toddler-sized clothes from the dryer onto the nearby dining room table. Fun fact: Less than half of these items ever make it from the dining room table to their rightful homes in my daughters’ bedroom drawers.

I’m going to guess that I run the washing machine about seven times every week. What about you, friends? More, or less?

I began sorting through the latest heap of tangled, still-warm footed pajamas, hoodies and nine-inch skinny jeans. Anna, who just turned 1, had already outgrown some of these clothes. I set them into a pile on the side. Within no time, that pile grew big enough to fill a large paper bag.

I gestured to the bag. “Bring this across the street tomorrow?” I asked my husband. There was a new blue bin in the shopping village parking lot where people in the community could donate clothes for children who needed them. Stanton said he would.

I surveyed the dining room table. There was a lot less at my fingertips now.

Later that evening, I pulled a box of Grace’s 12- to 18-month-old clothes out of the back of a closet. Three years ago, I had donated a lot of her recently-outgrown outfits too. But like many moms, I saved some “special” clothes—gifts from loved ones that had sentimental value; the red velvet dress that Grace wore for our first family photo; a light green T-shirt with two dogs chasing after a ball, “Having a Ball” stitched underneath, that I loved.

Within minutes, I had filled up Anna’s dresser drawers with these “new” clothes, plus the freshly laundered ones from the dining room table.

“Enough is a feast,” says an old Buddhist proverb. I’ve always liked this thought, and it struck me in that moment. We can share with others, give from our bounty, and still have plenty.

Stanton and I have been lucky to have family members and friends who have given us so much. More than we deserve, more than we can repay. True gifts, from the heart.

The most meaningful way to say thank you, we think, is by paying that kindness forward. Giving of what we have. Being people whom others can count on. Doing something productive and meaningful with the time we have on this earth.

Time. As we get older, we realize exactly how precious time is. How precious and how priceless.

The gift of our time possibly is the most valuable thing we have to give. I need to remind myself of this sometimes, especially on days when my dining room table is heaped high with laundry. With towels and bibs and all of Grace’s dance outfits.

To pause. To say yes to going down to the river together, instead of getting just one more thing done around the house.

“Grace, do we have enough bread to feed the ducks?”

“Got plenty, Mom!”

Enough is a feast.

Enough Is a Feast

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Like what you just read? Then check out Melissa Leddy’s e-books, available on Amazon.com. Writing at its most heartfelt.